holy cow.
i can hardly believe that.
i remember sitting at home on november 17th, watching tv and playing tetris with mike. i wasnt feeling great, i had a backache but for the first time in almost two months i wasnt having contractions. at all. and i started thinking, you know what, im probably never going to have this baby.
i got up around ten thirty because i was tired of sitting around all day/night not feeling good. i walked around for a few, started cleaning the house and then just stood in front of the sink and leaned over a little to take some pressure off of my back, which was really starting to hurt.
mike came and stood behind me and started rubbing my back a little and i said, "lets clean the house." and he laughed at me - i always want to clean the house if im feeling antsy - and said ok.
and then, my water broke.
i remember just saying "ew."
mike asked me what was wrong and i laughed, said ew again, and then turned around and looked at him and said "we're having a baby."
so i called my mom to let her know, after all her 'today will be the day, i hope's, that it was FINALLY time. when she asked what i was doing and if we were already on our way i told her i was going to take a shower first. she told me that might not be a good idea and i should hurry because labor was well under way but i still wasn't having contractions and i NEEDED a shower because, like i said, ew.
so i showered quickly and put on clean clothes and off we went to the hospital. by the time we got there i was DEFINITELY having contractions, but not like any of the contractions i'd had before. these were only in my back, specifically in my tailbone and they hurt. a lot.
so we got to the hospital. i got admitted. i saw a nurse. i saw a doctor. i was 2 cm dilated. i asked for epidural.
fifteen minutes later in walks the man to stick the needle in my back. and he had to do it twice. the first time he got it in the wrong spot. and let me tell you how much i didnt care how many times he had to do it, it still hurt less than the contractions.
i remember looking at him after he was finished and saying, 'i love you. i bet all the women in this bed say that to you.'
and i bet they do.
so then we just waited. my contractions were strong and frequent. i dilated to 4cm pretty quickly. and then we stalled. and it was morning. and then it was ten am. and nothing was happening. so then came the pitocin. evil number one that i did NOT want. they were hoping it would help me progress. but it didnt.
so dr evans came in and said, 'i dont like how this is looking. that baby is still pretty high up. we will give it some time and then we may have to do a csection.'
enter evil number two that i did NOT want. : /
at one o'clock dr evans came back and said, 'lets do it.' and that was that. i was whisked down to the OR.
heading to the OR was terrifying. i havent had surgery since i was 4 and i have a phobia of surgery as it is. im one of those crazies who is afraid of being able to feel everything...although i guess with a csection i would at least be able to SAY if i could feel something.
there were about 15 people in the OR when we got there. doctors and nurses. two hilarious anesthesiologists. my husband. i think some med students.
from the time we got into the OR until the time bella was actually born was about twenty minutes, max. it was so fast.
dr evans said to me right before he delivered her, 'most csection babies dont cry right away because they havent had the journey through the birth canal to force all the fluids out of them, so dont worry if she doesnt cry right away, its ok.'
then, out she came. with a big cry and eyes wide open! and she was perfect. and relatively pink. and huge. and wonderful. the nurse actually walked around the drape and showed her to me before taking her to get weighed, measured, etc. because she was so alert and breathing well. they showed her to me and i remember thinking how amazing and beautiful she was. and also thinking that she was really big and that her head was huge!
while dr evans was stitching me up, mike brought bella over to me and she was crying. he put her next to my head and started talking to her and she stopped crying immediately and just listened to me. it was pretty amazing.
she's the most wonderful thing.
xo.
m.
next: part 2: postpartum.
