under the knife again? ....maybe.

so, i have a lump in my stomach.

or a mass.

or something.

its pretty big.  it hurts a lot.  i have a lot of abdominal pain.  some swelling/bloating.  nausea.  indigestion.  its been going on for a few weeks and i didnt really think anything of it at first.  then it just got progressively worse for about a week and finally i said, ok, i have got to go to the doctor.

so i did and he checked me out and said he thinks it might be an abcess.  (gross).  and that i may need surgery to remove it.

he put me on heavy duty antibiotics (which make me feel so sick) and sent me for blood work and an ultrasound, both of which i went and had done yesterday.

the ultrasound felt like a joke.  the woman wasnt very nice.  she didnt speak to me really at all.  she didnt scan the area that was the most painful.  and, as seems to be a recurring theme in my life, she couldnt find my uterus?!  i know, weird right?  the doctor told me the same thing at my first ultrasound when i was pregnant with bella.  beats me.  i know i have one.

she obviously didnt give me any results, so now im just waiting and choking down these antibiotics and hoping that we find an answer and that i dont have to have surgery again.  because id really rather not.

part of me thinks this may be the same thing that sent me to the hospital when bella was only 3 weeks old which they told me was an 'infection' even though they found 'something suspicious' on my left ovary but couldnt see it well because my uterus was too big still.  (gross).  they had no problems finding it then.  thats my life, my uterus is either too big or too small, but never just right.  haha.

ive been having these symptoms on and off since bella was born and i kept thinking, 'oh its from the csection, or its just my muscles coming back together, im doing a little too much at work, blah blah blah...' but now its obvious that its something more than that and there is no denying i need it fixed, whatever it is because its really starting to hurt/bother me.


here's hoping i get some results today.


xo.

m.

bella!

bella will be four months old (sixteen weeks!) in six days!  less, actually, since im writing this at night.

un. real.

she is amazing.  she DOES things now.  she tries to roll over.  she has a personality.  she laughs.  she grabs. she holds. she cries...because she is cutting TEETH!  not just one tooth, but TWO TEETH on the bottom.  what?!

teeth?  

i guess that explains all the drool:

we call these drool bombs.

they are g r o s s.

but she's so cute!

and she makes the funniest faces!

her eyes are so expressive and she has such a funny little personality growing! she is so fun!  and we are FiNALLY getting to the root of her digestive issues (hooray milk allergy, just like mama!). she is on hypoallergenic formula (only $30/can for a can half the size of the regular stuff, which was only $22 a can. ouch).  it smells like soggy cheese its.  gross.  but at least she's not spitting up ten times after every meal.

oh well, she's worth it.  ;)

<3

xo.

m