today is mom's birthday! out of respect for her, i wont post her age for the world to see, but she's young.  and will always be to me.  and im super excited for her because i think this year might just be one of her best years yet.  she's got a lot going for her right now - as far as jazzy glass goes (she had such an amazing show at the wine fest) and also has a show in dover tomorrow.  not to mention her new job is going great and i think is going to open up some really cool opportunities for her this year.  very exciting.

in other news...

im pretty sure bella is dropping, or perhaps has dropped...?  i just woke up yesterday feeling really "different" ... like she's lower.  feeling pressure in weird places.  a little restless.  but no real contractions to speak of.  (to be fair, i have contractions every day...but so far nothing that's becoming 'regular' or 'more intense' as time goes on....)  i packed my hospital bag this week and mike and i put the car seat in yesterday.  we are as prepared as we're going to be, simple as that.

i'm technically "full term" on monday (37 weeks) so now is as good a time as any, for me....(although everyone has requested i not have her this weekend, or next week, lol)  but, she's going to show up when she feels like it and i can't wait! i just cant wait to see her little face and fingers and toes!! im tired of being pregnant, yes but more than that im just really really excited and ready to see her and meet her, this little tiny creature who i feel like i already know because im carrying her.

pregnancy is weird like that.   and weird for a million other reasons too.

a lot of women say they love(d) being pregnant.  and that i will miss her being inside of me when she's born.  and while i may miss feeling her kick me, i doubt i will miss pregnancy...  in that regard im definitely not a shinning example of a womanhood that embraces pregnancy as beautiful and amazing and enjoyable.

dont get me wrong.  it is AMAZING. and beautiful, in its own right.  and so worth every single second and more.  i would do it over and over again because its worth it.  i just haven't enjoyed it.   probably because im a huge control freak and ive had to really come to rely heavily on my [wonderful, darling, patient, adorable and adoring, practically perfect] husband to do really simple things for me like...tuck me into bed with a million pillows or help me put on socks and shoes...things that i have done for myself for a long time.  and its weird for me.  and i hate feeling helpless.  and i like doing things for myself!  not that it hasnt been nice to have someone wait on me, a little....but mostly i just get a little bored and whiny because i want to do everything im used to doing, but my body doesnt cooperate...although, i have to give my body props for doing as much as it has done and still allowing me to keep up a mostly normal life though just a few weeks ago - working, being on my feet, having a relatively normal sleep schedule, carrying this baby around without too many aches and pains, etc.

anyway.  now we just wait for bella to make her arrival, whenever that may be!

personally, i hope its soon.  :)


xo.
   m.