today.

i stood at the edge of a field and watched the sunset

i felt the breeze in my hair, breathed the air of the changing seasons

i allowed myself to take a moment, a pause

to remember all that had gone before me, and all that lay behind

to grieve the losses i had suffered and to accept

the mistakes i had made

i breathed - in and out - a steady rhythm

and allowed myself to find center

to focus and listen

as my heart, my mind, my spirit

all spoke to me

as my intuition tried to lead me

there was the meadow before me, waiting for me to cross

and what lay beyond it, though still a mystery

was no longer my fear but my hope

i dug deep to find the courage to let go

i realized that i am grown; a 

woman

mother

wife

that my life choices are my own choices

and they do not belong to another

i was surprised to realize that my intuition was good

my feelings, sound.

i am strong.

stronger than i believed myself to be

theres a body of water at my feet.

i kneel to put my eye to the level of the ground

and look out

all i can see is water

i cannot see the next piece of land

but i am not afraid of being swept away

i cannot see the next destination in my journey

but i know i am going in the right way.

i have been afraid of change

but not anymore.

i will do what i feel is right

what i must do to restore my health

and be everything i am meant to be.

for too long i have held on to the sources of my unhappiness

because i have been afraid to walk away, afraid to try something new. afraid of going against the grain.  afraid of making the wrong choice, not realizing that by standing still and ignoring my instinct, i AM making the wrong choice.  i am not moving or growing.  i am repeating a broken cycle. 

today, that changes.

today, i will find the faith to move forward. to turn and head down the path that's been calling me

that's been laid out before me.

today i will follow my instinct, my intuition, and move forward.

xo.

    m.