'we judge others by their actions, but judge ourselves by our intentions.'
that has resonated with me since the first time i heard it and i try to let it heavily influence my life. i want to keep that in my mind when someone hurts or wrongs me - that there is (always) more to every action than just that action. there is intention behind it, and sometimes the action and the intention are not the same. sometimes someone means well, but execute poorly. for any number of reasons. . . .sometimes thats hard to remember.
remember. everyone is human. with a life. a family. thoughts, fears, ideas, dreams. everyone WANTS something, needs certain things - acceptance, love, approval, support - its different from person to person, but only slightly so. try to operate and REALLY treat others the way you want to be treated. you may not always get treated the way you want to, but rather than letting that make you hard and bitter, let it inspire you. say to yourself, i dont like it when people treat me with impatience, cruelty, selfishness, rudeness, disregard, disrespect, or as if they see no value in me, so i will not act in a way that can or will make people feel that way, even if those same people treat me poorly.
i wont say these things make you a "better" person, but they will make you a better feeling person. a happier person. a person more approachable, with more self confidence, with more contentment and less anxiety, a person with more peace. a healthier person.
be patient - sometimes the wait is relevant. sometimes its not, but still unchangeable, so accept it and be content rather than agitated.
be kind...not just polite, but out of your way kind. to strangers AND friends.
be UPLIFTING. people need to hear when they are doing a good job, and should be told; deserve to be told.
everyone has doubts and fears and scars, just like you do. remember that before judging them.
you will NEVER please EVERYONE and you have to do what is RIGHT for you, regardless.
every good thing that has been given to you is a blessing, not something youve earned. likewise, every tragedy has been exactly that, not something you deserve.
realize the world owes you nothing. and people owe you nothing. you have what life has given you, and what you have made of it and are working to make of it.
don't wallow. face the things that are the causes of your unhappiness - change anything you can. accept what you cannot.
extend grace to others.
be forgiving.
do not guilt anyone to influence them.
find a moment to be still at the end of every day and turn your face to the things that make you scared, angry, frustrated, unhappy, anxious, and lacking peace. ask yourself WHY? and if it is fair and honest. are you angry because youre sad? are you frustrated because something isnt going your way? is there anything you can do to change it? are you trying to bend another person to your will but it isnt working? let go of that frustration because it is unfounded and unjust to try to control another persons life. are you disappointed, lost, stuck? is there anything you can do in the moment to change it? the next few moments? the next day? few days? month? work towards it or let it go.
make decisions confidently. stand behind them. if you find, later, youve made a mistake, own that confidently, apologize, make amends. right the wrong the best you can. learn from it, grow from it. leave the guilt behind.
be kind to each other. love one another.
xo.
m.
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